About Hard Ballbusting in Shoots

I think about this a lot, and I thought I would take the time to share my thoughts on my blog.  As a ballbusting fetishist, I have been turned on by the idea of having my balls abuses since before I even knew what sex was.  I don't pretend to know where the fetish comes from.  I take the Popeye approach: "I yam what I yam..."

I've been working in adult and fetish film for a few years now.  Before that, I used to pay dominatrix's, strippers, prostitutes and escorts to kick me in the balls.  Back when I was just a John, and would pay for a session from time to time, I would tell the girl to go really hard.  I noticed that it didn't hurt, it just turned me on.  It's almost as if lust itself is a painkiller or something.  One time a stripper kicked me so many times that I had internal bleeding.  My balls swelled up like grapefruits.  I honestly didn't feel it at all until after I came.

About six months ago I started my first fetish production, She Owns Your Manhood, and suddenly I was have my balls kicked, kneed, stomped, squeezed and slapped 4-5 times per week for hours at a time.  I quickly realized that I could only take so much, and if I was to continue working at this pace, I would need to go lighter, or I could get permanently hurt.  I still really do get kicked in the balls, it just isn't as hard.  A lot of times the girl or guy doing the busting will completely miss, and I'm ashamed to say that those kicks still end up in my films.

When I started filming my own clips, I committed to making the sexiest clips out there.  I never have strived to have the hardest ballbusting clips, but I do want them to be hot.  I have a lot of respect for other producers and models who do the heavy ballbusting.  I love their work, and I jerk off to their work.  Productions like Elise Bullies Balls, Cruel and Unusual, and Brat Princess 2 all do amazing things.  I do not look at them as competition.  I think we really are all on the same team, working hard to put more sexy fetish content on the internet, defending the world from bad fetish porn...  it's a noble cause :)

Now that I have been producing for six months, I've gotten a few fans, I've sold some clips, and I'm having a blast.   I do get concerned that the integrity of my films may be slipping.  I do feel confident that I shoot sexy fetish porn, but I worry that light and sometimes missed ballbusting is not really cutting the mustard.  The problem that I am faced with is this:

- my balls can only take so much
- I can find guys to take hard ballbusting, but most of them aren't sexy enough for my standards
- I can find sexy guys, but most of them can't take hard ballbusting
- A lot of the female and male busters are scared to hurt someone, so they need to be trained, but I can't afford to pay them for training

I think about this a lot, and I'm going to make this work.  I am committing to getting back to my roots, and filming harder kicks, knees and slaps.  If I have to spend more money and cut my living expenses, so be it. If I have to film less clips, update less often, so be it.